Afraid To Be Lost From Your Heart
by BurningSilence
Summary: ZADR Moved by jealousy and obsession, Zim plots to become a part of Dib's life once more. Will it work, or is Dib too infatuated with his current boyfriend? What will Zim be driven to do if Dib continues to ignore him?
1. Prologue: Jealousy and Memories

Author: BurningSilence

Title: none yet

Rated: I'd say…PG, because of some one sided shounen-ai

Notes: This may develop into an actual story, but I need to have more ideas first! So far, this is a drabble and possibly the shortest thing I've ever written

Disclaimer: Do you honestly think my name is Jhonen Vasquez? Unless he is a 16 year old girl in Cali, then I don't own Invader Zim.

Distribution: Ask, violaters will be chained to a theatre chair and forced to watch 'riverdance'...

* * *

Zim sat down harshly on his captain's chair and growled, angrily. The Dib hadn't even spared him a scathing glance. Who did that earth brat think he was to ignore ZIM?

"Hmm…" Zim murmured. 'The Dib-human has been acting quite…peculiar lately. Especially since that James-stink came to their Middle Skool…and they have been spending quite a lot of time together…' Zim thought to himself. As he thought this, he felt a strange, but painfully familiar, pang hit him in his squeedlyspooch. He had felt the same feeling two years ago, in elementary skool when Tak had arrived, and started to be all…flirty…with the Dib. Who did Tak think she was to take Zim's opponent's attention away from him? This was one thing that Dib had been right about, but not for the reasons he thought were true. Zim HAD been jealous. How DARE Tak be all…coy…and flirty-like…with HIS worm-baby?

Zim scowled darkly at the memory, as he was experiencing the same pangs now with the James boy as he had with Tak.

'I need to do something, and quick…Before Dib forgets I exist completely…'

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Read and Review, but be kind and gentle. Flaming just isn't nice.


	2. Chapter One: The Note

Author: BurningSilence

Title: well, I'm still trying to figure one out…

Series: yes, however, I have no idea how long it may be…

Rating: I'm gonna go with…PG-13/T but it's possible that it may go up

Disclaimer: If you think I own Invader Zim, you have more problems than I do.

Distribution: Ask, violators will be hung by manacles and beat to within an inch of their lives.

Notes: "blah" spoken words 'blah' thoughts blah scene change _blah_ flashback

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Chapter One: 

It was a beautiful autumn morning…birds were singing, sun was shining, everyone seemed to be in a pretty good mood. Well, almost everyone…

"Gaz! Why didn't you wake me up in time for the first bell?"

"Well I tried, Dib! You told me you'd be up right away!" Gaz screamed back up the stairs. No, Gaz didn't get up earlier than Dib; she just never went to bed.

"And you believed me?" Dib questioned, sarcastically. Dib checked his clock and saw he had exactly four minutes to get dressed, brush his hair and teeth, and get to school. He made a dash to his closet, emerged fully dressed while hobbling to put his boots on. Once that was accomplished he sprinted to the bathroom, brushed his teeth (well, more like passed the toothbrush over his teeth once), ran his fingers through his hair, grabbed his trench coat and book bag, and ran out the door…

Middle Skool, 8:30 am

Zim sat in his desk, looking across the room at Dib's desk.

Now, you may ask why Zim was looking at Dib's desk.

Well, that's easy enough to answer.

Because Dib wasn't in it and the tardy bell had already rang.

'That's strange,' Zim thought. 'The Dib is never late to skool.'

Of course, no sooner had Zim thought this, Dib burst into the classroom, looking quite disheveled.

"Sorry I'm late, Mrs. March! I overslept and my sister didn't wake me on time and I hurried as fast as I could and-," Dib was cut off from his ramble.

"That's enough, Dib, go take your seat." Mrs. March grumbled as she made her way back to the chalkboard and began scribbling…something…on it that would most likely be important to know on some pop quiz that she was so fond of giving out.

Zim watched as Dib hurried to his own desk, and narrowed his eyes as Dib passed James' desk.

That HORRIBLE human touched the Dib-worm's hand! Then he had the nerve to…to… to _wink _at the Dib!

Zim clenched his fist so hard his pencil splintered and the graphite end shot down and was embedded in his desktop. 'What does that new boy think he's doing? Doesn't he know the Dib belongs to ME?' Zim thought as he scowled.

Dib heard the sound of wood shattering and looked around to see what it was. 'It looks like Zim's going to need a new pencil,' he thought, and then smiled. 'I wonder what got him so upset.' He then noticed Zim seemed to be glaring at him. 'What did _I _do?' He shrugged and let the thought pass him. It probably wasn't something he really did. Zim was probably being paranoid.

As the class dragged on, Dib reflected on his thoughts of Zim…

Oddly enough, Dib had always found Zim's paranoia a bit…endearing. Of course, he could NEVER say anything! Especially to Zim. Zim would probably never let him live it down. Not to mention he wanted to destroy the Earth! He couldn't let his own personal feelings get in the way of his duty. Besides, it would probably pass. He _was_ only thirteen, after all…

And then there was James. The first boy he _really _liked. And, surprise surprise, James liked him back! James was so…_nice_. He never made fun of Dib. Well, he teased him from time to time, but nothing malicious. The teasing was mostly because of Dib's shyness around most people. Although being bullied for as long as he could remember, may have something to do with his stunted social skills.

It was strange, really. Zim hasn't had any evil plans to destroy the Earth lately, usually that would've bugged Dib, but it was kind of nice. Maybe Zim wasn't so bad…

'…No. That kind of thinking is dangerous, Dib' he scolded himself. 'He could be lulling you into a false sense of security!' Dib pouted. Well, it surely couldn't hurt to simply _wish _Zim wasn't all bad…

_Plop!_

Dib looked down at his desk to see a balled up note. He opened it and peered at it's contents:

_Dib,_

_Can you meet me at the park after skool?_

_Love,_

_James_

Dib scribbled down a quick 'yes', crumpled up the paper, and tossed it to James. He saw James open it, read it and smile as he looked over at Dib. Dib felt himself flush and gave James a shy smile, then quickly looked back to his desk.

However, someone else was doing something other than smiling as he watched the exchange between the two boys…

_Brrrrrrng!_

'Finally!' Dib thought, after the class change bell rang. Even though his next class was Gym, and he always got hell in the locker room, it was nice to get out of Mrs. March's History class, which should be considered cruel and unusual punishment.

As everyone rushed out of History to go their own respective classes, Zim stayed behind and picked up the note that James discarded by the trash can.

He unfolded it, and his featured clouded over in barely controlled fury.

* * *

AN: 

THAT'S IT! That's all for now! Considering it's 3:00 am, I don't think I did half bad. Oh, but I'm so tired, I needed to end it there, I had planned on going on longer, but I'm dead right now. Please, as always, read and review. And soon, I'll also have a title for this story. I just don't know when, or what. I'm babbling now, so I'll shut up. Oh wait, I must thank those beautiful people who reviewed this story! Everyone, praise the following people:

Duo Yuy-Chang: You're my first review on this story!You awesome person, you!

andalitebandit-6: Could it be any shorter? Probably not...probably not! I agree, Zim needs to move his intergalactic butt and get busy with the doom making!

invader-girl-12: Thank you so much for your words to me! They mean lots! I'm honoured you think this is one of the best you've seen in days, and I am trying to improve the length so they're not so pathetically...short.


	3. Chapter Two: Turbulent Emotions

Author: BurningSilence

Title: Afraid To Be Lost From Your Heart

Series: Yes, part 3 of ?

Rating: PG-13/T

Disclaimer: Do I really need to say it? Oh, alright, I don't own Invader Zim, no matter how much I want to. Invader Zim belongs to the truly talented Jhonen Vasquez, who probably has more money than he knows what to do with.

Distribution: Ask, violators will be chained to bedposts and tortured with holy water.

Notes: "blah" denotes spoken words, 'blah' denotes thoughts, and /blah/ scene change.

Warning: There is a make out scene in this chapter. And what's worse, it's not between Zim and Dib. It's Dib and his boyfriend, James. Don't worry, this story WILL BE ZADR. I'm just using James for dramatic purposes…poor, poor boy. So unknowing, so unprepared…or is he?

Dedicated to Inuyashafan on LiveJournal for helping me come up with a title! Thank you SO MUCH!

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Chapter Two: Turbulent Emotions 

'Finally!' Dib thought as he exited his last class before lunch. He hated Home Economics. The only reason he had to take it was because, for some really strange reason, the school board decided that eighth graders needed to take it before they'd let them get into Hi Skool.

"Hey…" Dib heard someone whisper to him, from behind. He turned around in near-panic.

"Oh! It's you, James! Don't sneak up on me!" Dib admonished. "Sorry, Dib, I thought you'd hear me behind you. I didn't mean to sneak up on you…" James cooed as he put his arm around Dib's shoulders.

"James!" Dib exclaimed. "Oh, what? No one cares! You're too paranoid." James laughed. Dib felt his face grow hot. He didn't know _why _he was so concerned if other people saw them. James was right; no one cared at all. It's not like they were the only people in _that _kind of relationship. 'Hmm, so why _am _I being so paranoid…' Dib thought. He just kind of felt like someone was watching him…

Well…someone was.

As Zim practically _fled_ the boys' locker room, he heard an exclamation from down the hall.

Oh! It was Dib…and that…_filth._ Ooh, how he hated the boy! That…squirmy…weasel-y…_worm_! How DARE that stink-beast put his arm around the Dib!

Zim felt his temper reach a boiling point as he saw Dib blush, (quite prettily, too) and walk down the hall to the cafeteria. He finally snapped as he saw the couple enter the cafeteria, hand-in-hand.

"STUPID, SNIVELLING HYOOMAN!" he screamed. He looked around as people stared at him…blinking, then turned on his heel as marched out of the school, apparently blowing off the rest of his classes.

/Cafeteria, 12:30pm/

"What was that?" Dib asked, aloud as he heard a frighteningly familiar voice shout…something. He couldn't really make it out.

"I don't know, why?" James questioned. "Although it kinda sounded like that _Zim _guy you know." "Yeah, it did…" Dib mumbled. What was going on? What reason would Zim have to be shouting? And why did James sound a little…_jealous_ when he said Zim's name?

"Something wrong?" Dib queried, a little concerned. "What? No, no of course not. Why?" James snapped. "Just wondering," he conceded. Dib ate his food quietly for a few minutes, and then glanced back at the clock. "Well, it's almost one, we better be heading to class," Dib stated as he got up.

James noticed Dib seemed a little…upset. "Dib, are _you _okay? You seem upset…I didn't hurt your feelings did I?" James asked, worriedly. "No, I'm okay. I just…have a lot on my mind. I'm sorry for worrying you-," James interrupted him. "Don't apologize to me for worrying me, Dib! I like being able to worry about you…" "You actually mean that?" Dib asked, touched, but slightly skeptical. James just laughed and pulled Dib into a hug.

/Zim's Base, around 2:30pm/

Zim was, once again, seated in his captain's chair, going over the day's events in his head, as well as the happenings over the past few years.

Now, Zim had undergone some drastic changes since he landed on Earth those few years ago. He grew to an impressive height of six feet (especially for someone who was supposed to be only thirteen), and seemed to have filled out a bit. However, he still wasn't as tall as the Tallest, who were at least two feet taller than he was. Zim didn't know for sure why he had grown so much, and so fast, but he suspected it had something to do with the gravity, and possibly something on Earth called 'milk'.

He glanced to the digital clock, and noted middle skool would be getting out in another half-hour, which meant Dib would be with his…PATHETIC_ human_ lover…doing Irk knows what!

At this thought, Zim's face cringed in disgust. He'd seen what human couples do together, both on those day time shows Gir was so fond of watching, and in parks, alleys, or apparently anywhere the people thought no one could see. It was disgusting! He really didn't like the idea of Dib doing any of those…_acts_ with any of these filthy humans.

He needed some way to make Dib notice him…but what? What could he possibly do to tear the Dib's attention away from his precious boyfriend?

That's when it hit him.

When was the only time Dib's attention was ONLY on ZIM? When he had a plan to destroy the Earth!

'Why didn't I think of it before? Of course Dib hasn't paid attention to me…I've been neglecting my mission! Now, all I have to do is come up with something AMAZING to destroy the Earth! And then I'll take Dib with me on my ship and--," Zim was cut off as he heard:

"WAHOOO!"

Gir slid down a tube into Zim's lab, while in his dog costume, screaming in delight. He was holding some kind of stringy food in his hands…

"I GOT NYOODLES!" he shrieked as he started throwing them on the lab walls, causing them to stick everywhere. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, GIR!" Zim cried, rapidly losing his composure. "I gotta see if they're ready to eat!" Gir replied. "Ready to eat?" Zim asked, a bit reluctantly. "YEAH! Like that lady on T.V!" Gir explained. Zim knew that made sense in Gir's head, but he wasn't sure what he was supposed to get out of it. So he decided to drop the subject.

"Gir! Pay attention!" Zim snapped. Gir quickly snapped into duty-mode.

"Yes, my Master!"

"Gir, you remember the Dib?" Zim asked.

Gir's eyes turned aqua again, and replied: "Yeah, I miss his big head…where'd he go?"

"Well, Gir," Zim started. "I need to come up with a plan to destroy this miserable planet so the Dib will want to spend time with us. Do you understand?"

Gir nodded, "Yes."

"Do you really?" Zim questioned.

Gir just clutched his noodles and smiled.

"Oh well," Zim conceded. "Here's what I need you to do…"

/Membrane Household, 7:00pm/

Dib and James burst into the house, disrupting Gaz from her video games. She turned and scowled at them, darkly. "Do you two lovebirds _mind_? I'm trying to concentrate here! If either of you cause me to lose, you'll regret I was ever born…" she then turned back to her Game Slave v. 4 and continued her game.

James and Dib didn't really pay her any attention as they went upstairs to Dib's room.

"…AND DON'T DO ANYTHING WEIRD UP THERE!" Gaz yelled up at them.

James just snickered and dragged a now hesitant Dib up the rest of the stairs and waited for Dib to unlock his bedroom. As Dib was doing this, James wasted no time in wrapping his arms around Dib's skinny waist, and tracing his prominent ribs with his fingertips over Dib's shirt. He began nuzzling Dib's soft, black hair when Dib got his door opened. As the door opened James gently pushed Dib in the room, and closed the door.

"J-James, hold on," Dib stuttered, feeling embarrassed. James looked down at Dib and smiled. Dib looked so cute like that, all nervous and disheveled, with his eyes widened in surprise, looking even bigger behind his owl-like glasses. "Aww, you're so adorable when you're nervous," James chuckled. Dib looked down, self-conscious, and mumbled something.

"What was that?" James asked. Dib looked back up, a little defiantly, and said, "I'm not nervous…" "No?" James queried, obviously humoring him as he tilted Dib's face up towards his own, and began to lower his lips to Dib's mouth. "Wha-mph" was all Dib managed before James mouth fused to his own.

Now, while Dib _was_ nervous, he was also a thirteen-year-old boy, who had these things called hormones, that made a boy do crazy things they wouldn't normally do…or things they would normally do, but they are a lot less nervous while doing them. So Dib enthusiastically responded to James' kisses and wound his hands into James' brown locks, parting his lips eagerly to James' questing tongue.

Unbeknownst to the both of them, but more importantly Dib, _someone_ has surveillance equipment all through his room, left over from their sixth grade battles and scheming…and that said someone was absolutely _seething_ at the display in front of him…Hopefully his plan wasn't too late in the making…

James pushed Dib gently onto the bed and laid down beside him, while still heavily making out. "Mmmm…wait! S-stop James," Dib panted, blushing as James started sucking on the skin above his pulse point. "James!" Dib scolded.

James groaned in disappointment, but stopped. "What, Dib?" he asked, a little irritably. Dib immediately felt bad. "I'm s-sorry, I'm just scared. I didn't mean to upset you-," "Dib, relax, I'm sorry for snapping at you. I don't expect you to do anything you don't want to. I just…I see the way that Zim kid looks at you…and I know you've known him longer…" James started, seemingly embarrassed. "Wait, James, Zim doesn't like me like that! What are you talking about?" Dib asked, thoroughly confused. "Oh, Dib, I see the way he gets upset every time we talk to each other, or pass notes--," "James, Zim is just paranoid, don't be so…worried. We don't exactly have a loving past, so don't worry," Dib reassured James, and leaned over and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips.

"Yeah, I'm just worrying over nothing…" James murmured, wrapping his arms once more around Dib's thin waist, and dragging him up for another kiss.

* * *

Another end for another chapter. I tried to make this one longer than the last one. And thank you once again to my reviewers Duo Yuy-Chang and invader-girl-12. And a special thank you once again to inuyashafan for helping me with the title. 

And as always, read and review!


	4. Chapter Three: Passion

Author: BurningSilence

Title: Afraid To Be Lost From Your Heart, part four of ?

Rating: PG-13/T, but will increase

Disclaimer: No, I DON'T own Invader Zim, no matter how much I want to. Invader Zim belong to the truly talented Jhonen Vasquez, who has more money than I ever will, so don't bother suing me.

Distribution: Ask, violators will be hung from the ceiling and run through with hot pokers.

Notes: "blah" denotes speech, 'blah' represents thoughts/blah/ shows a scene change and /_blah_/ shows flashback. Also, the title was inspired by Angelus' speech in the episode 'Passion' in 'Buffy: The Vampire Slayer", which was written by Ty King. The quote itself will be written like **_this_**.

Warning: Slightly graphic slash, violent thoughts, and just general darkness through this chapter.

Author's Note and Additional Warning: This story seems to be taking a rapidly darker route. Originally, I planned just a bit of angst and romance, but it seems to be taking a life of it's own. I guess this is what I get for reading Anne Rice, watching Season Two of 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer', and watching so much forensic science and Sci-Fi…

This chapter is dedicated to pnkrockrangel666, because she's helping me along with Zim's AMAZING plan. That, and she's my cousin and hug-bunny.

* * *

Chapter Three: Passion

**_Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping... ...waiting... And though unwanted... ...unbidden... it will stir...open its jaws, and howl_**

At first, Zim regretted ever reactivating the surveillance in Dib's room. Especially after seeing…_that_. They hadn't actually copulated, but it was only a matter of time. Or, that's what Zim thought, anyway.

Watching that _disgusting _creature practically molest the Dib made him want to vomit…and then kill the human. The Dib was HIS. His to hurt, to touch…it had been that way since day one! And then that James boy decided to take Dib away. Well, he'd taken care of the last person who tried that…even if he DID have the Dib's and his sister's help. James would be gone…just like Tak was.

He still grew furious whenever he let his mind travel back to Tak. She thought she could not only take his mission, but she also thought she could take HIS human! He remembered her flirting with the Dib, when he had originally thought she'd been a human. And that she was in love with him…but he'd rather not think about that.

/_Flash back:_ _Sixth grade, February 16_/

After another round of painful abuse from Tak, Zim sat in the cafeteria, watching her and the Dib. He noticed the way she fluttered her eyelashes at him, and the little casual touches she forced on him…but what was worse was that the Dib-worm didn't seem to mind!

_He listened to Dib laugh at something Tak said, and saw how he blushed whenever she leaned in towards him…Zim felt himself twitch slightly. He'd been feeling rather strange whenever he saw Dib and Tak together. At first he'd thought it was because, with the Dib around Tak so much, he would ruin the 'experiment' on human 'emotions'. But then he'd notice he would grow irrationally angry whenever Tak made Dib smile, or laugh…something Zim never seemed to really accomplish. Unless it was a smirk, like when Dib thought he'd finally be able to expose him…like a child who was expecting a particular item they'd been waiting to get. _

_It was times like that, that made Zim remember their differences in age. Zim, while still young for his race, was still considered an adult, and would be considered almost ancient by these humans, while Dib was still a child, by all meanings of the word. _

_He remembered the observations he made about children on this planet, they always outgrew something they were interested in, since they had such a pitifully short attention span. It would only be a matter of time before Dib lost his interest in Tak as well…_

/_end flashback_/

How was he to know Dib might outgrow him as well?

"Well, I just can't let that happen," Zim growled. "I will MAKE the Dib focus his attention on me, where it so rightfully belongs, and the James boy will have no say in it. Besides, the Dib has no business letting that _boy_--," he practically snarled, "—touch him like that. If anyone should be allowed to touch him like that, it should be me, ZIM! _Not_ some pathetic Earth boy!"

Then Zim recalled something James had said to Dib: "I see the way that Zim guy looks at you…"

So James knew of Zim's…observation…of the Dib. And he sounded quite…insecure. But Dib seemed to put those fears at ease, telling James that Zim hated him. 'Oh, Dib, how far you are from the truth,' Zim thought.

_**It speaks to us... guides us... Passion rules us all. And we obey. What other choice do we have?**_

He looked over the monitors again, at Dib and James. 'That disgusting excuse for a creature,' Zim thought to himself. He couldn't stand the way James kept putting his revolting, filthy…_unworthy_ hands all over Dib. HE was the only one who should be able to touch the Dib. Dib was far more superior to any of the other humans on this pathetic planet. He should only be with Zim, no one else. No one else was deserving of the Dib.

As Zim was watching their…exchange…he noticed how the Dib arched his back under James insistent fingers…and every time James would run his hands along Dib's outer thighs, Dib would release a series of soft, breathy moans. His cheeks would flush and his eyes would flutter shut as he pulled James up for another kiss…

Ooh how he HATED that…_stranger_! He loathed James for tainting something that belonged to him.

He couldn't stand it anymore! He quickly shut off the monitor to Dib's room. He couldn't look at them anymore. Why did Dib have to be with James…why couldn't he be with HIM?

**_Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love... the clarity of hatred... and the ecstasy of grief_**

"GIR!" Zim shouted into the intercom.

Gir poked his head through an entrance to the lab. "Yeeeees?"

"Have you distributed Chemical CY-34 into the city's main aqueduct?" Zim asked, impatiently.

"Yup! Now I'm gonna watch TV, okay?" Gir stated.

"Yes, yes. Go ahead," Zim snapped.

"Finally…" Zim muttered. 'Perhaps when the Dib is infected…he'll come to me for the antidote…'

**_It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank... Without passion, we'd be truly dead_.

* * *

**

Okay, that ends Chapter Three! This was shorter than I wanted it, but it'll have to do, because I'm out of ideas for this chapter. And I'm a little distracted as well. My foster brother/ex boyfriend came back yesterday, and it's totally thrown me off. Anyway, thanks again to my reviewers:

Piale:_ I love jealous Zim as well. There aren't enough of jealous Zim fics, in my opinion!_

**Invader-girl-12:**_ I'm sorry this one couldn't be longer, but I'll try to make it longer next time! And James will be out of the picture soon… and then it will be ZimxDib!_

**WyattTheEd:**_ I am trying to add more violence…Violence just makes me happy, even though I didn't want such a dark fic…at first. It just seemed to develop that way! And I might have James die, but I'm not sure…_

**Princess of Despair: **_Thank you for loving my story…it helps my ego…and my morale! _

**Duo Yuy-Chang: **_Thank you for yet another lovely review! I feel I should reward you, but I don't know how! Thank You!_


	5. Chapter 4: Poison

Author: BurningSilence

Title: Afraid To Be Lost From Your Heart

Rating: I'm thinking…R/M, (I told you it would go up…)

Disclaimer: No, I DON'T own Invader Zim. Invader Zim and anything related belong to the truly talented and gifted Jhonen Vasquez.

Distribution: Ask, violators will be gagged and forced to play strip Twister.

Notes: "blah" denotes speech, 'blah' represents thoughts/blah/ shows a scene change /_blah_/ shows flashback and "_blah_" denotes television or radio broadcasts. Also, the title 'Poison' was inspired by Evanescence's song 'Give Unto Me'.

Warning(s): Darkness abounds. More obsession and mind sickyness. Getting' more graphic with the boy luvin', possible BDSM. My mind is taking a dark turn…THIS WAS ORIGINALLY SUPPOSED TO BE CUTE and HAPPY! Damn real life for getting in the way…

Author's Note: I also thought I'd explain Chemical **CY-34**, since I realized I didn't explain it in the last chapter, sorry!

**Chemical CY-34** is a cyanide/selenium compound that Zim is adding to the city's water (if you didn't get that from the last chapter). The effects of cyanide and selenium poisoning are extremely fatal if they go untreated, however the amount being placed in the water is fairly small and will drag out the symptoms and make death a fairly slow, very painful process. And since they are a combined chemical, doctors are unable to really trace it and determine what it is. The effects of selenium poisoning can last a person's whole life, and often causes chemically induced cancers, mostly leukemia. While there is no true 'antidote', the first course of treatment will be something called **CY-METH**, which contains high amounts of amino acid, which is vital in reversing the affects of selenium, as the cyanide will leave your system after you ingest it. After taking **CY-METH**, a special diet follows.

But enough of my rambling about Zim's chemical, (that I made ALL ON MY OWN, I did the research and everything, although the name isn't strictly scientific…). I hope this explained a few things, incase my last chapter was too…open ended.

* * *

Chapter Four: Poison

"…_The number of cases of this mysterious illness has risen in the past two weeks at an alarming rate. Doctors and scientists are scrambling to figure out what has caused this epidemic, however, progress has been diminutive, due to the fact that many of the people working on this case have also fallen ill. So far, we can see that this illness is indiscriminative in whom it infects. Many of the people who died within one week of contracting it were infants and the elderly; however, the death tolls are rising for young adults who haven't sought out medical attention as well. In other news…"_

Dib shut the T.V off. He didn't feel like hearing about this new disease. It was everywhere. _Everyone _had it. No one was left healthy. James had been taken to the hospital within four days of the illness becoming apparent. He, himself, had been lucky, at least, for that first week. Now, at the second week, he started to feel himself getting worse. His memory was getting really bad, he found he'd developed a strange, discolored rash on his hip and thigh, and he had horrible headaches.

Dib could only think of one thing that could have caused this…sickness. 'Zim,' he thought. 'But he hasn't been doing anything for the better part of a year…so why now?' He was scared to admit it, but Zim may get away with this. He knew he couldn't do anything to stop Zim this time. Hell, he couldn't even get off of the couch. Every time he tried to get up, he ended up collapsing, again. Or he'd end up vomiting whatever little food he'd actually been able to choke down, which was resulting in a frightening weight loss, leaving him almost skeletal. He hadn't seen Gaz in days, since she'd been bed ridden, and he was couch ridden. He was worried about her, too.

He let his head fall back against a pillow and stared out into the gloomy weather.

"Why would Zim do this now?"

/Zim's Lab/

Two weeks…two weeks since he'd released Chemical CY-34, and the Dib still hadn't come to him. At first, he thought he was being stubborn, but then he learned that James had been admitted to the hospital, and Dib had been there for about a week. It had taken all his will power to not go to the Membrane residence and drag Dib back to his base, willingly or not.

And then he learned about Dib's deteriorating condition.

After that, he turned on all of the monitors he'd placed in the Dib's home, and found Dib laying on his living room couch. Apparently he was too weak to even get up…

As he watched the Dib, he felt himself grow inexplicably depressed…just seeing him lying there, while not near death, it was quite obvious he was very sick. He had always been a slender boy to begin with, but with the attack on his immune system, he looked as if he was wasting away. Perhaps Dib wouldn't be able to get over to his base before it was too late to start the treatment…

Then Dib's phone rang.

He watched as Dib was speaking softly into the receiver, and couldn't help but feel curious as to who would be calling. He saw Dib smile at whatever the person on the other line said, then laughed. He heard a faint: "When are you coming home, James?"

WHAT?

That HUMAN would be released from the hospital? How could that be? He should be _dying_ with how quickly the symptoms set in…and the damn chemical was in the water!

Wait…

He was _also _in the hospital…and from what he'd heard, not many of the other victims went to the hospital, since the symptoms seemed to creep up on people…and the hospital had a good water purifying system…

So of _course _James would've recovered…although he'd still have lasting effects from the selenium in the compound.

He'd have to figure out a way to contaminate the filtering systems in the hospitals…although why he didn't think of that before was beyond him…

And James would come waltzing back into the Dib's life, and just _pick up _where they'd left off!

Not if Zim had anything to do with it.

He wasn't sure how, but he WOULD prevent that filthy creature from defiling Dib even more…

/Membrane Residence/

Dib was feeling a little better after he hung up the phone. He was excited about James coming back home from the hospital. He'd been so worried, especially since they found out the death rates were rising. However, while he was positive it was Zim, he wasn't sure _why _Zim was doing this…or how. Zim had been more or less inactive for the past year…it didn't make any sense that he would restart his 'reign of terror', after all this time…

Just when he was thinking Zim wasn't all that bad…

The whole situation…upset him, but not for the reasons it probably should have…

He felt…betrayed.

But, why? Zim had never given him a reason to trust him…so why feel like this? Zim had probably planned this a while ago, just waiting for him to fall into a sense of security, and then he'd pull this.

'Well,' Dib thought. 'I'm not going to stand idly by and allow this to happen! I need to stop him, I don't care _how_ sick I am!'

And with that, Dib marched himself out of his house, and towards Zim's base…

* * *

And again, I just ran out of ideas! I don't think I'll be able to update until Monday, as I'll be away from Thursday to Sunday night or Monday. I'm also sorry that this chapter is pathetically short ;; I just couldn't write anymore! But I want to thank my lovely, lovely reviewers! You all have seriously been my inspiration to keep this story up…especially when I would get into a case of writer's block. So far, I've been good about updating, but I don't think I would've if I hadn't gotten so many nice reviews!

**Three really bored people: **_Oh no! I can't let you explode! How would I sleep at night, with the guilt and all? Well, I guess I'll just have to keep updating! I hope this is enough to hold you over until Monday!_

**Duo Yuy-Chang: **_Thank you! I think they are cute too! I hope you won't be disappointed with this update, I'm also sorry it's not longer! Stupid writer's block…_

**Invader monkey: **_Yeah…wanting James to be leaving is a pretty popular opinion…I'm just trying to figure out how to faze him out. Some days I want him to eventually become a jealous bastard and then die, or…you know…just…die. I don't know! Time will tell._

**Gwenandromeda  
risingsun923:** _I agree with the breaking up dialogue. I've been trying to do that, but I end up skipping over sometimes. I probably need a new glasses prescription, lol. But thank you for the help! I will try to break up dialogue more. I find it confusing too, when I finish the story, I might go through and edit everything, or before…depends how much time I have._

**Princess of Despair: **_Thank you! I have so little confidence in myself it's nice to hear someone tell me I'm doing a good job! Thank you for that! **hugs**_


	6. Chapter 5: The Sickness In You

Author: BurningSilence

Title: Afraid To Be Lost From Your Heart

Rating: R/M

Disclaimer: No, I DON'T own Invader Zim. Invader Zim and anything related belong to the truly talented and gifted Jhonen Vasquez.

Distribution: Ask, violators will be drugged and forced to shop for reasonably fashionable clothing.

Notes: "blah" denotes speech, 'blah' represents thoughts/blah/ shows a scene change /_blah_/ shows flashback and "_blah_" denotes television or radio broadcasts. The title is inspired by Korn's 'Make Me Bad' and can probably be related to Zim's obsession and Dib's poisoning. Also, there will be references to unaired and unfinished episodes, such as 'Mopiness of Doom'.

Additional Author's Note: I feel I should apologize for my truly childish response to a copy/paste I received. It was totally uncalled for and I'm very angry with myself for even responding. I truly hope I didn't offend anyone with my deplorable behavior. I have a tendency to be pretty temperamental…and not even hours of violent video games have seemed to curb this tendency…;; I also apologize for the horrid lateness of this chapter. I know I said Monday at the latest (check livejournal) and it's now Wednesday…but again with the writer's block…hehe…;;

Warnings: (whole story) Darkness, angst, BDSM, SLASH, impure thoughts and imperfect sex.

* * *

Chapter Five: The Sickness In You

'Finally,' Zim thought, impatiently as he watched Dib struggle off of his couch and stumble to the door. He'd been waiting for this…Funny how it seemed to be James who had brought this reaction out of Dib. Oh well, it was just another reason to hate the damn boy.

He glanced at the digital clock on the wall by his main monitor briefly. With the way Dib was walking, and how sick he was, it'd probably take him anywhere from ten to fifteen minutes to get to his base. Well, it wasn't like he had anything better to do, other than wait for the Dib.

It had nearly broken his heart (or whatever he had to an equivalent) to see Dib like this…nearly. A part of him, (a rather large part) felt that Dib had this coming, for even thinking of replacing Zim. And with such an unworthy boy at that.

All there was left to do, was wait…

/With Dib Walking Down Various Streets/

Dib struggled with every step he was taking. It was getting harder and harder to keep his balance and focus. He could feel his breath becoming more shallow by the minute. He'd only been walking for five minutes, but it felt more like five hours.

But no matter, he had to get to Zim's base. He needed to put a stop to whatever disease Zim had created. So many people were falling ill, and even dying! He didn't care that he, himself, was sick, but there was Gaz to think about, his dad…and James.

Although, come to think of it…Zim _had _been fairly inactive for a long while…until James showed up. Was there a link? He couldn't think of one, off hand…

…wait a minute…

The beginning of seventh grade…when Dib had decided to pursue 'REAL SCIENCE', Zim had gone into a funk…

/_Sometime early seventh grade_/

"_He needs you Mary! You two such good friends…like hot dogs! Please help my master again…COUCH!" Gir cried out. _

"_I'm sorry, Zim's evil robot dog thingy. I'm not going after Zim anymore. I have a different life now, and no one makes fun of me for being weird…"_

/_end flashback_/

Dib hadn't believed anything had _really _happened to Zim…until he'd stepped into his base and saw the condition of it. And then he saw Zim, lying on his couch, watching his T.V, with empty snack bags and containers. His heart had gone out to Zim, making him glad of his decision to keep chasing the alien. He too, had been very depressed to have stopped chasing Zim. It was like a part of his life was just…gone.

Was Zim…jealous? If he was jealous, why would he attack like this…

…to get his attention? But it wasn't like he could do much, not like this. Not…sick.

/_flashback, same as before_/

_"I'm BACK, Zim! And I've renewed my pledge to expose you for the alien you really are!" Dib shouted, gleefully._

"_You have no idea how happy that makes me, you revolting worm!" Zim responded, overjoyed._

_/Flashback ends/_

Zim really had seemed happy…had he really missed Dib _that_ much?

/Zim's base/

Zim glanced back at his clock. Thirteen minutes had passed. The Dib should be here at any moment now…

* * *

Again, sorry for the horrid lateness, and incredible shortness. My inspiration is dwindling…but I haven't given up! Inspiration will strike at the strangest moment, and I'll probably start writing like a woman possessed. And now, for my thank you's:

**Duo Yuy-Chang: **_Yes…horrible writer's block…I hate it sooo much! But I'm glad you're enjoying the story!_

**Invader Monkey: **_Thank you for your super sweet compliments! They really make my day, and make me less defensive! Also, I' really sorry again that this chapter was so late!_

**Three really bored people: **_Thank you for loving it!_

**Dib is hott: **_yes…the deadly water…FEAR IT! Again, sorry for the late chapter! Stupid writer's block, and outside distractions. If I had it my way, all I'd ever do is write._

**Pryanima: **_Thank you! I'm glad you like it!_

**Princess of Despair: **_Well, here it is! The next (horridly late) chapter! Sorry for the shortness! _


	7. Chapter Six: Craving

Author: BurningSilence

Title: Afraid To Be Lost From Your Heart

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Again, I obviously don't own Invader Zim, or anything related to the show. If I did, they really wouldn't be showing it on Nick.

Distribution: Ask, violators will be contained in nice, white cells and subjected to electro-shock therapy.

Notes: See previous chapters for language key. The title of this chapter is inspired by Korn's 'Trash', but the chapter was equally inspired by their song 'Beg For Me' and Marilyn Manson's 'Slutgarden', 'Kaboom Kaboom', 'Para Noir', and '(s)Aint'. Also, this story is now housed at AFFN, where the rating will eventually be NC-17, so, in a sense, this is the edited version.

Warnings: (whole story) Darkness, angst, BDSM, SLASH, impure thoughts, imperfect sex, and dubious consent, but this will have a happy ending, (of sorts), I just don't know when. Also, this chapter will probably have Dib OOC, but I tried to write how he may act after a lot of stress, being sick, and being drugged…so maybe not so much OOC. You better be the judge.

* * *

Chapter Six: Craving

(4:37 pm)

"ZIM! ZIM, you total _bastard_! I know it's you behind whatever's making everyone sick!" Dib shouted as he pounded at the door.

Zim looked to his monitors for the perimeter of his base, and saw Dib attempting to burst into his lab.

"GIR! Open the door for the Dib-worm! Don't bother with your disguise!"

"Okie dokie!" and with that, Gir zipped upstairs to answer the door. He threw open the door and greeted Dib, "Hiya, big-head boy!"

Dib looked confused at first, and fell into a coughing fit. "W-where's Zi-Zim?" Dib had to lean against the doorjamb to be able to stay standing up.

"I'm right here, Dib."

Dib snapped his head towards Zim's voice, and became dizzy as he did so. "What did you do, you lizard?" Dib asked, succinctly. "How did you make everyone sick?"

Zim chuckled, darkly. "Now, Dib-human, why should I tell you what, if anything, I did? What's in for me?" he leered, his scarlet eyes practically glowing. At this, Dib began to look a little worried, and before he could back away, one of Zim's mechanical legs shot out and forced Dib the rest of the way into his base. Then Gir slammed the door shut and locked it.

"What did you do?" Dib repeated, albeit more desperately. Zim was really starting to frighten him. What was he doing?

Zim sighed and put on a look of mock-hurt onto his face. "Very well, earth-stink. If you want to do it _that_ way, I guess I'll tell you. But don't think I won't be 'collecting' a fee for the information." He smirked at Dib's shocked expression, feeling quite satisfied with himself, but that was quickly replaced with worry when he saw Dib crumble to the ground, hacking and heaving.

Dib just couldn't stand anymore. The trip had taken too much out of him, no matter how short it was. He felt as if something were going to implode inside his chest, and Zim being difficult didn't make matters any more pleasant. He felt himself growing hot, then cold, and the room started to swirl around him. He started fall forward and darkness consumed him.

Zim rushed to Dib, and caught him before he could make complete contact with the floor. He hoisted Dib off the ground and carried him down to his lab. Dib was extremely light, like a little child.

At that moment, that's what Dib reminded him of, a dead child, lying in his arms.

The thought filled Zim with an immense sadness. What would he do if Dib died? His antennae drooped a bit, he didn't want to think about it. Right now, it didn't matter if Dib begged him for the antidote. He'd give it anyway. 'I better inject him while he's out, he may put up a fight,' Zim thought.

Zim removed Dib's trademark trench coat, and laid him onto an autopsy table (A/N: cliché or what?). He made sure to restrain Dib's arms and legs, mostly to prevent any injury he may have had to endure at the hands, (or feet) of an irate Dib. As he turned around to retrieve an I.V and the antidote, he glanced back at Dib. As he was looking, he felt a shiver of arousal run up his spine. Not that he'd do anything about it, well, not while Dib was bound and helpless…although…

Zim shook his head to clear his thoughts. It wouldn't do Dib any good to have anything of _that_ nature to happen while he was so ill. Besides, it wouldn't fit Zim's needs if the Dib became any sicker. He wanted the human around for a long time…

He busied himself with stringing up the I.V and checking Dib's veins after releasing the right arm. He knew that the human would be tense, unconscious or not, so he'd most likely have to massage the boy's veins. As he rubbed his fingers over the antebrachial vein in Dib's right arm, he took the time to study Dib's features in a _much_ closer proximity. The monitors were one thing, but this was completely different.

He could _feel_ the young teen, for one thing. He could also hear him breathing, and feel the rise and fall of his chest. He traced his free hand over the soft skin of the human's cheek, and let it linger for a moment before letting it fall to his slender neck, rubbing over the pale throat, and dipping lower to the collar bone. As his hand drifted lower to caress the boy's chest, he stopped himself.

'Time for that later,' Zim thought as he took both of his hands away and grabbed an alcohol swab. He then lifted Dib's arm again with his left hand and cleaned it with the swab. It wouldn't do to give him the cure if he caught an infection from outside bacteria, (not that he really thought there were germs in his base, but…better to be cautious). He then took the syringe leading to the I.V., and punctured the vein. He increased the drip and restrained Dib's arm again. He glanced at Dib's face once more before turning to his computer.

"Computer! I want you to alert me the _second_ the Dib begins to wake. Understand?" Zim snapped.

The computer groaned but replied, "Yes, Zim."

"Good, I'll in the surface level."

(8:53 pm)

Dib felt like his head was going to explode. He couldn't recall what it was that woke him, all he knew was that the world seemed to be out of focus at the moment, and he had the strangest sensation that he couldn't move his arms…

…wait…

He was tied down!

At this revelation, Dib began to panic, and tried to thrash his arms and legs, but felt himself incapable of doing so. Then to his utter horror, he looked at his arm and saw an I.V drip, filled with some unknown substance.

'Oh god, he's going to finish me off, and no one will know what happened!' Dib's mind screamed. He heard the electric whirring of the lift Zim used to travel between the levels of his base and was filled with fright. He tried to keep his breathing under control, but it was no use, and tears spilled over onto his porcelain cheeks.

'God, get it together, Membrane! Quit showing fear, don't fucking cry!' Dib thought to himself, furiously. But he couldn't help it, with the stress of being sick, the betrayal he felt about Zim being responsible for it, and the effects of whatever Zim injected him with were getting to him, breaking down his carefully placed defenses.

His head snapped to the extreme left when he heard the doors to Zim's lab elevator open and shut with a _ding_. He bit his lip to keep a whimper from escaping, but failed to do so.

As Zim stepped out of his lift, he heard the boy whimper in fear. 'That's certainly not like him,' Zim contemplated. "Must be the drugs…" he mumbled to himself.

"W-what are you p-p-putting in m-me?" Dib questioned, his voice trembling with stress and weakness.

"It's really a simple compound I created to combat the poison in your system," Zim replied, nonchalantly.

"Poison?" Dib queried. "You mean it's not a disease?" he persisted. "What is it?"

"I call it CY-METH, it'll help clear your system of the CY-34. CY-METH is a compound of the sulfur containing amino acids cysteine and methionine, which can both counteract selenium's effects, as the cyanide will grow out of a person," Zim went on to explain.

"What do selenium and cyanide have to do with this?" Dib asked, suspiciously. Now he was getting worried. He knew selenium is extremely toxic, and the effects of a selenium poisoning were very long lasting. He also knew that cyanide poisoning was not a nice way to die…

Zim sighed, and almost smiled at Dib. He always knew the human was smart, and very suspicious. So he'd indulge Dib's interrogation a bit before he made his conditions known…

"Well, CY-34 is a compound poison which consists of equal parts of cyanide and selenium. There isn't really a 'cure' for the poison, but CY-METH will treat it, followed by a special diet," Zim explained. As he finished, he made his way over to Dib and changed the I.V. pack.

"Why are you telling me this?" Dib asked, looking up at Zim with large, amber eyes.

Zim looked down at Dib's face, and his features softened as he took in the boy's features. Dib's eyes were glistening with yet-to-be released tears, his cheeks were slightly flushed, and his lips were red and swollen (most likely from being bitten). He felt that traitorous shiver of arousal settle in his loins, and quickly looked away from Dib. After a few moments he turned back to Dib as simply stated:

"Because you're not leaving."

* * *

Well, slight cliffhanger, but it doesn't really matter since I also updated with chapter seven…lol. 


	8. Chapter Seven: Just Like Mine

Author: BurningSilence

Title: Afraid To Be Lost From Your Heart

Rating: R

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Invader Zim, or it's characters, except Tallest Red and Purple figurines, all four DVDs, clothing and random pens, notebooks and paper. Invader Zim _does_, however, belong to the truly talented and gifted Jhonen Vasquez.

Distribution: Ask, violators will be stripped and chained to a tiger's cage.

Notes: "blah" denotes spoken words, 'blah' denotes internal dialogue/_blah_/ shows flashback/blah/ denotes a scene change, and _"blah"_ denotes television or radio broadcasts. Also, the chapter and title were inspired by Belly's 'Untitled and Unsung'. I may post the complete lyrics, but I'm not sure. The partial lyrics will be shown in _italics_ and centered.

Warnings (entire story): BDSM, SLASH, dubious consent, imperfect first time sex, slight non-con. Also, more Dib possible OOC-ness, but remember, he IS still sick…and scared. And being held hostage…in a way…Also, Zim comes across a little mean in this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter Seven: Just Like Mine**

_**Previously:**_

"_Why are you telling me this?" Dib asked, looking up at Zim with large, amber eyes. _

Zim looked down at Dib's face, and his features softened as he took in the boy's features. Dib's eyes were glistening with yet-to-be released tears, his cheeks were slightly flushed, and his lips were red and swollen (most likely from being bitten). He felt that traitorous shiver of arousal settle in his loins, and quickly looked away from Dib. After a few moments he turned back to Dib as simply stated:

"Because you're not leaving."

**_Present Time:_**

"W-what?" Dib cried out, in panic and alarm.

_I want you soft in the middle_

_I see a strange and furious face_

_I know your heart_

"You're not leaving _yet_, worm-baby. You need to be monitored, and I'm the only one who can do that, and I can't afford to give you the opportunity to leak any information to your 'government'," Zim replied, scathingly. He was exactly fond of Dib's response to his plan of keeping Dib here.

"Why, do I need to be monitored? Why can't you just tell me what to do?" Dib yelled, feeling very upset. "I just want to go back home! I won't tell anyone if you just _get rid of whatever poison you made!_" Dib saw Zim's resolve hadn't weakened, in fact, it seemed as if he was more determined than before. "_Please_, Zim!" Dib almost sobbed, on the verge of tears. 'Dammit! Don't cry, you wimp!' Dib chastised himself.

_I want your pearly hand in my hair _

_We make a strange and furious pair_

_I want you locked in the middle_

When Zim saw that Dib was fighting back tears, he was filled with two very strong emotions. One was, of course, guilt. He felt bad for making the boy endure such a hardship. But the other one was more along the lines of rage. 'The only reason he wants to go home is because his precious earth-stink _lover_ is coming back from the hospital. I should have gotten rid of him personally,' Zim thought, bitterly. He clenched and unclenched his fists, trying to calm himself. He wasn't exactly mad at Dib, so much as he was furious at James. And it wouldn't suit his purposes to frighten Dib too much.

"You need to stay here for four weeks. It'll take two weeks for the CY-METH to be fully effective against the selenium, and then for the remainder of the time I'll need to put you on a diet of mostly cereal grain, and fish. Then you can go home," Zim answered.

"But I'm sure I can do that myself!" Dib cried, desperately. Why was Zim being so stubborn about letting him go back home, if all Zim was going to do was treat him?

Zim's crimson eyes flashed as he yelled, "You're _staying here_, and that's _final_!"

Dib whimpered at Zim's harsh tone, then acquiesced. There would be no arguing, apparently.

_You show up in time for a bad time_

_You show up and the world is wild_

_I want your pearly little hand in my hair_

_I want you pearly on the inside_

_I know your heart_

_It's just like mine was_

"Besides, I haven't collected my fee, have I?" Zim practically purred, his eyes taking on an eerie glow. He wasn't about to let _that_ particular opportunity slip past. James be damned.

"What f-fee?" Dib whispered, suddenly reminded he really didn't know how old Zim was. Zim was most likely an adult, whereas he was still a considered a child, even though he didn't think of himself as one. He still couldn't possibly know what Zim wanted. But the look on Zim's face was starting to scare him. It kind of reminded him of James, when he would get a little too…excited…

But Zim couldn't _possibly_ be talking about…

Zim noticed the panicked look that came across Dib's face. Maybe he _finally_ figured it out. "Why so scared, Dib," Zim sneer. "Don't want to give anything to me?"

"What d-do you w-want?" Dib stuttered. He noticed Zim was standing rather close to him, practically towering over his prone body. He could also feel the body heat Zim was putting out. He never knew Zim could be so _warm_…

Zim looked down at the boy's flushed and nervous appearance. Ohhh, so tempting…but he wouldn't do anything right now. Not while Dib was sick. "We'll talk about that later, right now, you need to recover. However, I intend to collect when you've healed," Zim informed the teen. With that, Zim strode out of the room, leaving Dib to think about everything that had just happened.

Dib started feeling very tired, his eyelids started drooping, and he fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

/In the surface level of Zim's base/

Zim sat next to Gir on his sofa as Gir watched something on the T.V. But Zim wasn't paying attention to it, his thought's were elsewhere…

He couldn't stop thinking of the Dib's embarrassed appearance. The boy's normally pastel face was tinted with an (dare he think it) adorable cherry blush. As he had gazed at the boy-child, he felt that familiar niggling in his nether regions that he had come to associate with the human. Not that he hadn't experienced it _before_ he came to earth, but it _had_ been a while, and he'd never felt this particular emotional attachment to someone before. He didn't just _want_ the Dib physically, he wanted to make sure he was alright, that he wasn't hurt, or harmed in any way. He didn't like the idea of Dib being with anyone else, or how Dib looked at James…

Of course, now that his thoughts had turned to James, a black scowl came across Zim's previously peaceful features. Just what did that human want? Every time he saw that boy with the Dib, he seemed to have his hands all over him. And it hadn't gone by unnoticed (at least to Zim) that Dib was often very uncomfortable with this. That human had no business even being around the Dib. That right should have solely belonged to HIM!

Well, Dib wouldn't be around James for a whole four weeks, and during that time, he would see that Zim was INDEED superior to his pathetic stink-beast lover.

_So you wanna know why I can't sleep at night _

_Unless I got a belly full of wine_

_You show up in tails for a bad time_

_I'm drunk and the world is wild_

_You got it_

He'd show James that the Dib belonged to Zim, and Zim alone. He would PAY for directing Dib's attention towards his FILTHY human self. And Dib would surrender completely to Zim, and Zim would, of course, graciously accept…

Zim couldn't wait until the four weeks were up.

_You got it_

_Heaven in your hand…_

* * *

Well, that went in an ENTIRELY different way than I planned. Hmmm…well, I hope you all enjoy it! I actually kind of like it like this! Although I think it could've flowed better…Well, as always, tell me what you think!

And many thanks to you beautiful people known as reviewers:

**Princess of Despair: **_Well, to make up the shortness, here's TWO chapters! _

**Invader-Maz: **_Lookee here! I gave everyone here two chapters…mostly because I felt guilty for taking so long to update, but here they are!_

**Duo Yuy-Chang: **_More lovely comments! And a very belated update!_

**Nny11: **_Sorry for the lateness of updating, but now it's double the pleasure! (umm, yeah…);;_

**Sylver: **_Thank you! Thank you for the nice words! They always make my day!_

**Invader Monkey: **_I would've updated earlier, but…I was lazy…;;…well, and I had to drive a long, long way…But here's two chapters to make up for it!_


	9. Chapter Eight: Terms

Author: BurningSilence

Title: Afraid To Be Lost From Your Heart

Rating: R

Disclaimer: sigh I do not own anything pertaining to the rights of 'Invader Zim'. 'Invader Zim' and all it's characters are the property of the truly talented and gifted Jhonen Vasquez.

Distribution: Ask, violators will be beaten over the head with a crowbar.

Notes: See Previous chapter for language key. This chapter will have some James insight, and I have a last name for him!

Warnings: SLASH (although, if you don't know that by now, what the hell are you doing here?), dubious consent, BDSM, imperfect first time sex, and possible OOC. Not to mention I've been tormenting Dib for the past few chapters…(this chapter) FINALLY minor ZADR! Which only means there will be more!

* * *

**Chapter Eight: Terms:**

**_Previously:_**

_He'd show James that the Dib belonged to Zim, and Zim alone. He would PAY for directing Dib's attentions towards his FILTHY human self. And Dib would surrender completely to Zim, and Zim, of course, would graciously accept... _

Zim couldn't wait for the four weeks to be up.

**_Present Time:_**

/Zim's Base, Lab Level: Roughly two weeks later, 6:30 am/

Since that encounter in Zim's labs, Dib and the Irken had barely said two words to each other. It was a little surprising to Dib, since the alien had been quite…vehement…about Dib staying, and now he seemed to be giving him the cold shoulder. It just didn't make any sense. The only thing Zim came in to do was change the I.V., give him his meals, three times a day, and deliver his homework so he wouldn't fall behind. And often, he seemed to have Gir do these tasks. And even when it _was_ Zim, he was too medicated, or unconscious to say anything!

"Oh god," Dib groaned. "I actually want his company!" he said, exasperated with himself. So, now, not only did he have to deal with _this_ particular new emotion, but his conflicting feelings about James. 'He's probably worried about me,' Dib thought. He felt guilty he couldn't contact his boyfriend and let him know he was okay…but James would probably just get angry he was at Zim's. James seemed convinced that, if given the chance, Dib would fool around with Zim. No matter _how_ much Dib tried to convince him otherwise.

"Besides, it's not like Zim has any of _those_ kinds of feelings for me," Dib chuckled, lightly. Then his brows furrowed in confusion as he recalled Zim's words to him two weeks ago:

_"Besides, I haven't collected my fee, have I?"_ a smirk

_"Don't want to give anything to me?"_ a sneer

_"However, I intend to collect when you've healed."_ a glare

"…right?" came the uneasy response.

/Membrane Household: 3:00 pm/

James Doyle was not happy. Not happy at all. His boyfriend had taken off to that Zim kid's house, and has yet to return. All James had thought about while in the hospital was getting better, so he could get back to Dib, and spend some…quality…time with him.

That was about a week ago.

He'd known there was something going on between Zim and his boyfriend. He'd noticed it when he first saw the green kid glare at him, when he was playing with Dib's hair, (Dib had grown it out since seventh grade, and now rested at his jaw line, it was quite fetching, really…) At first, he didn't pay him any mind, until he learned that Zim and Dib had a sort of…_history_ together. While not necessarily a nice one, it wasn't hard to figure out that Zim was jealous that he didn't have Dib's undivided attention like he used to when they were younger. That, coupled with the fact Dib was too shy to try anything beyond making out and cuddling, equated for a very jealous, very _angry_ very possessive James.

Which brings us to why he's at Dib's house.

He started coming by everyday to see when Dib would finally get home. Of course, no one had seen Dib, what with everyone being sick. Although he did learn from their first period teacher that Zim had been picking up Dib's homework that he was missing.

Another thing that was kind of suspicious, was that whatever that mysterious disease was, it seemed to back off, (although there seemed to be lingering side effects…), new outbreaks were almost unheard of now. And it all coincided with Dib heading over to Zim's house. Unfortunately, James had never been there, hell, he'd never even seen the place. So he didn't even know where to look for Dib.

He'd just have to wait….

/Zim's Base, Surface Level: 3:23 pm/

Two weeks…

Two weeks the Dib had been here.

Two weeks they hadn't spoken to each other.

Zim sighed and readjusted his black wig, which was a little longer than the last one, (which was more convenient, since it hid the fact he had no ears). How long before he was able to find the words to speak to the human? It wasn't that he didn't _want_ to say anything to the boy, he just _couldn't_. He couldn't even bring himself to take care of the child very often, so he sent Gir. Every time he went down there, it was harder for him to control himself. Dib was still restrained, and it would be _so_ easy to just _take_ what he wanted…

'_No! _' he thought to himself, harshly.

He wouldn't do that. He had his pride, and dignity. It would be more worthwhile if Dib were fully consenting, if he surrendered of his own free will.

That thought brought a smile to the invader's face…well, more of a smirk, really.

Unfortunately, his traitorous mind chose that moment to drift to thoughts of James, thus spoiling his good humor. Dib might not be so willing to pursue anything of that particular…nature with Zim, because of James. He also noticed, (through monitoring the Dib's home), that James had been going to the Membrane Residence everyday since his release from the hospital. That was a major annoyance. He couldn't afford that…_pest_ poking around…finding out…_things_.

He glanced at the digital clock above his mantel and noted that it was time to give Dib his dinner. While it was only three-thirty, he found it more beneficial to the human boy's health if he ate earlier, rather than later, (it probably had to do with how his body processed food).

"GIR! Get the Dib-human's dinner ready!" Zim barked.

"Ooookie dokie!" came the SIR's chipper reply.  
Zim sat down on his sofa and waited for the little robot to finish preparing Dib's meal, (hopefully not causing any chaos while doing so,) and contemplated what to do next. It didn't seem like very long, but apparently it was, because before he knew it, Gir was finished with the Dib-human's meal. It wasn't much, but it was what the boy needed to become healthy again.

Gir was headed down to the lab, when Zim halted him. "Gir, tonight I'll be feeding the human. You just sit down and watch T.V., understand?" Zim stated.

The little robot's eyes glowed red for a moment as he saluted and responded, "Yes, sir!" Then went back to their usual turquoise as he walked over to the couch, and handed Zim the plate of food. Zim watched the robot plop down onto the couch and turn the T.V on one of his 'favorite shows'.

Zim looked to the elevator in the trashcan, and felt a wave of nervousness. Why was he nervous? It didn't make sense. Was he afraid of how Dib would receive him? He hadn't been down there very often…and when he was, the boy was too far out of it to really make any kind of conversation.

He swallowed hard and marched to the lift. 'Better get this over with,' he thought, tensely.

/Zim's Base, Lab Level: 3:56 pm/

Dib heard the elevator lowering and knew it must be time for him to eat. He was expecting Gir, and so was obviously surprised when he saw the Irken delivering his dinner.

"Zim?" he rasped out. His voice was rather rough from limited use, and he struggled to project.

"Yes, it's me, just eat your meal," Zim snapped, irritated as he sat the plate on the boy's lap. He really didn't mean to be so short with the Dib, but he didn't like feeling nervous, and when he didn't like something, or didn't understand it (not that he _ever_ _mis_understood _anything_, mind you!) he usually lashed out.

Dib flushed and looked down at the food. Was Zim mad at him? He didn't _do_ anything to incur the Invader's wrath…at least…he didn't think he did…

Zim noted Dib's pensive expression, and sat down on the chair next to the table Dib was placed on. Since Dib was still restrained, Zim would have to feed him, something that the alien didn't find unpleasant.

"What are you doing?" Dib questioned, surprised when he saw Zim go to feed him.

"What do you _think_ I'm doing?" Zim sniped.

"Sorry…" Dib mumbled, and obediently opened his mouth to accept the food.

Zim brought the small bit of fish to the human's mouth, trying to keep his mind on _feeding_, rather than where his libido was going…Unfortunately, Dib closed his mouth to soon, resulting in Zim feeling very hot under the collar. The human blushed brightly, obviously embarrassed by the 'accident'.

The rest of the feeding went by without incident, all the while Zim was contemplating his 'conditions' of Dib's release.

"Thanks, Zim," Dib murmured, interrupting Zim's thoughts.

Zim looked up, surprised, then looked at the plate. He hadn't even noticed they had already finished! Perhaps this would be the best time to talk about Dib's…payment. Zim frowned, he didn't want the Dib to think of it as a payment of any kind…however, and he knew that was probably the only way the teen would agree to his terms.

Dib was growing uneasy. Zim was staring at him like he had when Dib confronted him. He knew Zim was trying to tell him something, trying to convey a message…and Dib had a feeling he knew what it was…he just didn't want to admit it…

"Dib," Zim started, his eyes taking on a softer appearance as he tried to find the right way to say what he was about to say. "You've been here for about two weeks, are you aware of that?"

"Yes…" Okay, now Dib was confused. Why was Zim asking this?

"I feel you have recovered enough for me to tell you what I want from you," the alien stated, shortly. Zim was beginning to feel resentful; this was going to be more like a business negotiation.

Dib swallowed nervously, he wasn't _sure_ where this was going, but he had an idea…

"Yes?" he questioned, chastising himself mentally as he heard his voice crack a bit.

Zim's eyes narrowed in a glare, but then settled into a now all to familiar leer. He smirked as he leaned in and grasped Dib's thigh. He stared deeply into the boy's eyes, with a calmness that Dib previously would have found humorous in the usually hyperactive Invader, and stated:

"In order for you to be released, I want a night with you, to do whatever I please with you."

* * *

_Okay, I finally got that out! I'm so sorry about the super late update, (hey I rhymed! Kind of…), but I've been **really** sick, and I've had an annoying case of writer's block. But at least this chapter is a **little** longer, I think… I also think this chapter could have been better…but I'm kind of happy with it. The next chapter will be better. But in the meantime…thankies to my wonderful reviewers:_

**Duo Yuy-Chang: **_I'm happy you enjoyed my double update! I'm sorry I couldn't do the same this time! But chapter nine _is _in process!_

**Invader Monkey: **_Okay, to answer your question: yes, I am going to keep updating on AFFN, and as you can see, I update there sooner. Mostly because it's easier for me! And thank you for another review!_

**Circus freak92-I AM GIR: **_Here you go, another update! Teehee, thank you for enjoying my story!_

**Princess of Despair: **_Thank you for loving both of my chapters, and so sorry for taking so long to update! This was entirely TOO long!_

**Bagel: **_Thank you again for enjoying my story! When are you updating yours! I am so looking forward to it!_


	10. Chapter Nine: Desire

Author: BurningSilence

Title: Afraid To Be Lost From Your Heart

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Invader Zim belongs to the truly talented and gifted Jhonen Vasquez, and I obviously had nothing to do with it.

Distribution: Ask, violators will be doused with holy water.

Notes: see previous chapters. Also, I used a restaurant from my own city, (from REAL life), so if it doesn't look familiar…well…that's probably why!

Warnings: (overall story) See previous chapters, (this chapter) Kissing/making out between a I much /I older alien male, and underage human boy. Nothing horribly graphic, however I thought I'd warn you because of how the beginning of this chapter goes.

* * *

**Chapter Nine: Desire **

**_Previously:_**

_Zim's eyes narrowed in a glare, but then settled into a now all to familiar leer. He smirked as he leaned in and grasped Dib's thigh. He stared deeply into the boy's eyes, with a calmness that Dib previously would have found humorous in the usually hyperactive Invader, and stated:_

_"In order for you to be released, I want a night with you, to do whatever I please with you." _

**_Present Time_**

/_Two and a half weeks later_ /

/Zim's Base: Lab Level; 7:17pm/

Dib was extremely nervous. Today, Zim had given him a clean bill of health…and notice that tonight he'd be collecting his 'payment'…

_/Flashback after last chapter /_

_"W-what?" Dib cried out. No…Zim couldn't really mean…_

_"You heard what I said, Dib-stink!" Zim snapped_

_"But, I'm just a kid!" Dib tried, hoping that that bit of information would…quell…Zim._

_"Don't you think I know that!" Zim muttered, angrily. Then, he grabbed the boy's chin and wrenched Dib's face to look at him. He stared at the young teen for a long time, and then released him. _

_/end flashback /_

Dib looked up quickly as he heard the lift to Zim's lab lowering. The doors opened to reveal Zim, dressed in his usual invader's uniform, and had donned his human disguise.

Wait…

Zim only put his disguise on if he were leaving the base…

"Well, what are you waiting for, worm-baby? Let's go," Zim grumbled.

"Where are we going?" Dib questioned, uncertain.

Zim was about to snap at the child, but stopped himself before he could. Obviously the Dib was nervous. He didn't know what to expect from the alien. Instead, Zim sighed and tried to smile, cheerfully, but it came out more frightening than anything else.

"We're going out, Dib," Zim explained.

/Doyle Residence; 7:22pm/

'Okay, it's been over a _MONTH_ since Dib has last been seen! Why hasn't anyone seen him!' James thought, angrily. What was Zim _doing_ with his boyfriend? He was sure that Dib was over at Zim's. But why for so long? And why was the 'mysterious' disease clearing up? They all coincided with each other…it couldn't just be a coincidence!

That was it! James wasn't going to take it anymore. He was going to find his boyfriend if it was the last thing he did!

/Brookfields; 7:56pm/

Zim and Dib were seated at a table, both looking around for different reasons. Dib, because he was scared out of his mind. He didn't know that these 'conditions' would require a public outing. Or that it would be in another city altogether. And Zim…well…Zim wasn't exactly sure what he was going to do.

"Quit fidgeting, human!" Zim snapped, annoyed with Dib.

Dib looked up and blushed while he said, "Oh, I'm sorry…I guess I'm just nervous…"

Zim sighed. Of course the human would be nervous, he was essentially kidnapped by an extraterrestrial! But still…hadn't he given the Dib reason to trust him? He'd taken care of him…kept him safe…he hadn't harmed him at all! Well…except for the whole 'poisoning' thing…But it wasn't like Dib was the target! Well, the exact target…

As Zim was contemplating this, Dib continued his perusal of the Irken. 'I guess…he hasn't been so bad…But what does he plan on doing with me? I thought for sure he'd…but he hasn't done anything like that…yet. I mean, he _has_taken care of me. Even though he did say he expected to be 'compensated' for his services, I don't think he meant dinner.' Dib thought, wryly.

"Have you made up your mind on what you'd like to have?" a girl's voice startled both of them.

"Yes, we'll have this," Zim snapped as he pointed to something on the menu that Dib couldn't see.

The waitress looked oddly at Zim, but nodded, took the order, then took the menus and walked off.

Needless to say, dinner was shaping up to be a pretty uneventful affair.

As Dib was eating something that resembled a hamburger, Zim kept 'sneaking' furtive glances towards the boy. His fists were almost white knuckled with the effort of holding back from touching the human. He'd waited _ever so_ patiently for this opportunity! But now…it seemed…_wrong_ to coerce the Dib into doing his bidding…

"Zim, aren't you going to eat?" Dib's softly spoken question interrupted Zim's thoughts.

"No, I'm not eating _this_," Zim snapped, frustrated.

Dib looked down, abashed and blushing, "Oh, sorry…"

Zim noticed Dib's discomfiture and sought to put him at ease, "No, I'm s-sorry…I didn't mean to snap at you."

Dib looked up, wide-eyed. Had Zim just apologized to him? He noticed Zim looking awkward and embarrassed, and wringing his wrists. Obviously Zim didn't want to continue this conversation, so Dib dropped it and finished his meal.

Zim looked over at the boy's plate and saw he was done, and with out another word, he stood up, waited for Dib, placed the correct sum of money on the table, and they both left to the Voot Cruiser (which was cleverly disguised as a purple van), and took off back towards Zim's base.

/Zim's Base; 8:38pm/

As they reached their destination, Dib felt himself growing even more nervous and agitated, and when they entered the base, Dib couldn't control his shaking. Zim seemed to notice this, and placed his hand on Dib's shoulder, in a soothing gesture. Unfortunately, this gesture seemed to have the opposite affect on the human, and he turned wide, frightened eyes towards the alien. Zim hastily drew his hand back with a glare at the boy's direction, as if he couldn't believe that the human was so disconcerted with the motion.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you Zim…" Dib apologized

"Whatever," the Invader responded, gesturing to Dib that he was to sit in the living room. He moved with jerky motions, giving testament to his anger.

Dib went and sat down on the couch and waited for Zim to tell him what to do next. He didn't have to wait long, though, because after a few (very short) minutes, Zim appeared by Dib's side.

"Stand up," the alien growled.

Dib swallowed hard, but did as he was told. After he did so, Zim wrapped his arms around the boy, leaned down and pressed his lips to Dib's soft mouth, catching the teen off guard. As anticipated, Dib stiffened from Zim's amorous attentions, but Zim persisted, unwilling to let such an opportunity escape him.

Meanwhile, Dib's mind was in turmoil. He tried to keep thinking of James…James was his boyfriend…James loved him… But Zim was always I there /I …Zim had taken care of him…Zim I saved /I him…it was only right to repay him…and it wasn't so bad… It was getting harder to concentrate as Zim's hands began to rub his back and glide over his shoulders and arms. He closed his eyes and began to relax into the embrace…even started to respond.

Zim's disguised eyes widened almost comically as the boy opened his mouth in reply to Zim's questing tongue. His eyes closed again as the serpentine muscle wrapped around Dib's human appendage and began to massage it. He moved his hands to the hem of Dib's t-shirt and began to lift it up, entreating the boy to raise his arms.

Dib felt Zim began to take his shirt off, and started to panic…but as soon as the anxiety set in, it dispelled. He did what was expected, whimpering at the loss of Zim's mouth for a second as the removal of his shirt knocked his glasses askew. Zim stared at Dib for a moment with passion-laden eyes, and then began his assault anew.

Zim pushed Dib back onto the sofa, and pressed his own body against the teen's. The boy was so soft! And warm…Zim groaned softly and trailed hot kisses down the human's jaw to his neck and throat, nipping gently. The Irken shivered as he felt the Dib moan and clutch at him, desperately.

Dib dragged the alien up towards his face again, and brought him in for another kiss. The human cried out softly as he felt Zim's hands rub his thighs, inching towards his straining erection.

Zim smirked into the kiss as he felt that the boy was indeed aroused by this. He briefly wondered if Dib had let that I boy /I get this far with him…but he let that thought go. All that mattered right now was that Dib was here, and that he was letting Zim do this to him. Zim sighed softly as he began to undo the fastenings on Dib's pants, anticipating what was to come next…

"What the _**fuck**_ is going on here!"

* * *

Oh? What's this? Could it be…an UPDATE? Yay! I was in such a sappy and good mood yesterday and today (it was my birthday yesterday) that I just I had /I to write another chapter…even though it's fairly short…And once again, thank you for all the pretty reviews! It's really late, and I don't have so much time to respond to reviews personally...But I will next chapter! 


	11. Chapter Ten: Discovered

Title: Afraid To Be Lost From Your Heart

Author: BurningSilence

Rating: R

Disclaimer: 'Invader Zim' belongs to the truly talented and gifted Jhonen Vasquez, and obviously, not to me.

Distribution: Ask, violators will be whipped and manacled to an iron headboard.

Notes: See Previous Chapters

Warnings: See Previous Chapters, also a bit of abuse here, nothing too horribly bad

* * *

**Chapter Ten: Discovered**

**_Previously: _**

Zim smirked into the kiss as he felt that the boy was indeed aroused by this. He briefly wondered if Dib had let that boy get this far with him…but he let that thought go. All that mattered right now was that Dib was here, and that he was letting Zim do this to him. Zim sighed softly as he began to undo the fastenings on Dib's pants, anticipating what was to come next…

"What the fuck is going on here!"

Present Time:

'Damn it,' Zim thought as he looked at the figure standing in his doorway. 'Gir must've left the door unlocked…again.'

"J-James!" Dib exclaimed, nervously. "What are you doing here?"

"What am _I_ doing here! You've got the nerve to ask me what _I'm_ doing here?" James yelled, losing whatever hold over his temper he'd had left. "Is this what you've been doing this _whole fucking time_?"

By this time, both Zim and Dib have stood up, and tried to look less…disheveled. However, Dib appeared to be in a great deal of anxiety.

"I'm sorry!" Dib tried to apologize, apprehensively.

"Were you seeing him this whole time!" James shouted.

"No!" Dib argued, become more heated.

"Well, then what the _hell_ was that all about?" the larger boy screamed.

"Shut up!" Zim had finally had enough. "It's none of your business what he's doing!"

"The hell it's not!"  
"Zim, don't help!"

At Dib's exclamation, both Zim and James looked at him funny, but resumed glaring at each other. But soon, James began to barrage Dib with questions again.

"Do you have _any_ idea how worried I've been about you! I get home from the hospital, only to find everything _miraculously_ back to…almost…normal, but you're missing! And then I find that you're _here_, with _Zim_! How long has this been going on?" James finished, glowering at Dib.

"Nothing's going on, James!" Dib defended himself, but feeling dreadful that he'd ever accepted Zim's 'proposition'. He should've tried to figure things out another way.

But that still didn't explain his reaction to the kiss…

Then again, he didn't want to think too much about that right now. He was confused enough as it was.

Suddenly he felt James grab his left wrist, roughly, and began to drag him out of Zim's home.

"Whatever," James spat at Dib. "We're leaving, we'll talk about _this_ later."

Dib flinched but when along with James with no protest.

/Zim's Base; 9:03 pm/

Zim glared hatefully at the retreating back of Dib's boyfriend, clenching his fists at his sides, almost rhythmically. As they made their departure, he stalked to the door and slammed it shut, making sure that _this_ time it was locked.

"Pathetic Earth _snot_," Zim growled as he kept replaying their confrontation over and over again in his head. He'd been so close…so close to finally having the Dib.

And now his plans had been shot all to hell.

However, he couldn't stop the small smirk that came over his features as he remembered the look on Dib's face when James all but hustled him. He had looked downright reluctant to leave with the other teen. The smirk quickly became a scowl as he recalled the frightened expression the smaller boy had cast towards James' rough treatment.

Perhaps, all was not lost.

/Membrane Home: Dib's Bedroom; 9:14 pm/

After Dib had unlocked his bedroom door, James practically shoved the slighter teenager roughly inside, and then stormed inside himself.

"How _could_ you?" James shouted.

"Nothing really _happened_…" Dib tried to defend, although, the argument sounded ridiculous, even to his own ears.

"_Nothing_? You call that _nothing_?" the larger boy screamed.

"Stop shouting at me! It wasn't my fault!" Dib yelled back. He was tired of James getting upset with him. One thing he'd hated about James was his temperament, especially since it was usually unpredictable.

James, then, grabbed both of Dib's wrists, and slammed him against the bedroom wall. Dib's back made contact with a resounding _thump_.

"Not you're fault? You didn't look like you were having _too_ bad of a time! In fact, I'd say you were really getting into it!" James ground out, pinning the other teen's wrists to his thin chest, painfully, causing Dib to let out a small cry of pain.

Despite the pain, Dib couldn't suppress a shameful blush at the images his mind conjured up at the mention of the evening's previous activities. James was right, he hadn't done much to stop Zim, and he'd responded to the aliens advances…maybe this _was_ his fault…

"Please, let go James…You're hurting me!" Dib cried out as he felt the tell tale sting behind his eyes, letting him know he wouldn't be able to control himself much longer. Then, before he could stop himself, he felt tears begin to slip down his cheeks, one right after another. It had been such a long month, and it seemed he hadn't gotten any more control of himself than he'd had since he'd gotten sick.

During this time, James had let Dib go, and watched the boy slide down the wall to rest on the ground. James knelt down beside Dib and cupped the black-haired boy's cheek.

"Dib…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you…" James murmured, caressing the other boy's face. He brought Dib's face close to his, and leaned in for a soft kiss. Dib responded, but hesitantly, almost like he was afraid to… "Dib, I want you to promise me something…" James said, quietly after he had released Dib's mouth.

"What?"

"Stay away from Zim."

/Zim's Base; 9:27 pm/

Zim had been sitting quietly in his chair, watching his monitors of Dib's room, and had _not been happy_…at all.

He saw the way James had manhandled the Dib, causing him to cry out in pain. Then, he'd had the _nerve_ to kiss the boy after all of that…and especially after he, ZIM, had claimed the Dib!

He needed a way to fix the damage that had been caused, and he needed to fix it now. He couldn't have that human ruining everything he'd worked so hard for!

Zim leaned back as he thought about the first few encounters he'd had with the Dib. The boy had been so irritating, particularly with trying to expose him and everything. So, definitely for that first year…yeah, he hadn't been too fond of the human…until Tak. It had then dawned on him that the human was the only one on this miserable ball of spinning mud that could even begin to comprehend how AMAZING he was. And Tak was taking that away!

But she was soon gone, and everything seemed to resume as it had before…

Except that stint with 'REAL SCIENCE'…

Zim shuddered as he remembered how he let himself go. It hadn't been pretty.

But the Dib had come back, and they were back to making each other as miserable as they possibly could. Well, Dib was back to making Zim as miserable as he possibly could. Zim just wanted Dib's attention, (and it had been a _long_ time before he'd admitted _that_ little fact to himself), and often did little, idiotic (BRILLIANT) things to garner the human's attention.

And everything was fine…until eighth grade. Suddenly, everything seemed to change, at least, to Dib. He still watched 'Mysterious Mysteries', and he still rambled about aliens and Bigfoot…but he wasn't paying much attention to Zim anymore. Instead, he was devoting his time to a new boy to their Middle Skool…

_James_

And, of course, that brings it all back to the situation at hand.

Unfortunately, Zim hadn't counted on the stink beast being able to locate Dib, and had been unprepared for his intrusion. After all his work, it seemed like he was back where he started. And he didn't like it.

Not one bit.

* * *

Oh my _god_! I'm really sorry this took such a long time to update! I feel like such a horrible person! But real life has really been kicking my ass lately. And of course I want to thank the reviewers, you all leave such wonderful words of encouragement. Unfortunately, I can't leave personal responses anymore, I heard it's against the rules here. And I really don't want to get kicked off, (which is why I'm publishing the edited version here, and the soon-to-be unedited version on AFFN). 


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